id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
