dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
