yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
