put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
