so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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