I wish my penis had an off switch
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
