God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
