in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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