return my video game
Can i not drive my cunt home
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Michael Bay diarrhea
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
