i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
