My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
