Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
