is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
