so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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