remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
