Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
