If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
