Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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