I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
