I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
