I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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