I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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