Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
