She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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