Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
