I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
