I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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