Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I came so hard my ears popped.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
