I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
