I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
