I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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