Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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