He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
