So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
