Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
