Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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