Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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