I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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