my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
