the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
