yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
