we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
