During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
