I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
