I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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