im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
True college students do jello shots in the library
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