Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
