I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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