he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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