she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
