that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
