Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
